I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
