We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
