I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
