I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
