She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
