The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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