Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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