i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
