Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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