My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
