WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize