So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
