I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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