THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Two words: nipple clamps
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