I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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