Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
