Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
