D3 body, D1 cock
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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