So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
