nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize