Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
