I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
