Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
