A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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