Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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