i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
