do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
