My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My balls are so social today.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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