Already got asked if we're dating
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
