So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
