shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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