whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
