I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
