Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
