I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
