I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
