He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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