i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
