She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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