Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
