yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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