I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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