Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.