Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?