did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
