FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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