I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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