im drinking this country out of the recession.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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