And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
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I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
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Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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