my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
