I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
