I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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