Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize