fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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