just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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