we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
