Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
