my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
