Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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