Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
