After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
