Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
